#he’d be like “oh shit you’re right” and she’s like “:) hehe dad taught me that!” and you see aizawa from the other side of the room

[mokonahapuuuuuu]

I should have called him evil Aaron Samuels

(What I wrote on Reddit.)

It was grade 9. It was the first month we were all coming back from summer holiday.

There was this guy, let’s call him Fred.

Fred was friendly the first day of that year. He was even friendly second day. At the time I just let it slide, though over time, he was supportive of me. In school assignment presentations, he said good job, or if I looked like I was having a bad day, he’d help me in some small way. If memory recalls, I did that as well when I saw him a little upset, so I cheered him up.

Fred was tall, and got into sports, which shouldn’t have surprised me, but it didn’t make me see him as more or less of a person for getting into the stereotypical jock hobbies. And we were Canadian, so I guess it makes me glad for our Canadian mildness.

Now here was another person, let’s call her Regina. (Regina George, hehe, funny enough, she was my own ‘Regina George’.) I thought Regina was second in command to another Queen B who was gruff and more tomboyish since gruff girl was into sports. Regina liked girl things, but her face had a permanent sneer. You can feel the evil coming off of her face. It was that year that Regina really made it clear that we were enemies. When I walked passed her day one of the start of the year, she said ‘ew’. She said it again few months down the road in my ear. Last year Regina laughed at me when I tried make up, and that year she laughed at me for wearing a TNA hoodie. She made a loud spitting sound in front of me. She and her friends probably thought it was a joke, but it wasn’t, so I disarmed her by saying “what’s up?” This one time she elbowed me in the hallway.

Now back to Fred.

Over time, I grew to have feelings for Fred. Aside from his friendliness and him bringing people together, he had a great sense of humour. It was because of him that I wanted to get into comedy, and in my acting school in my college years, my friends told me I should audition for the comedy grad program.

In a way, I wanted to sharpen my comedy skills to impress him.

The months went by, and then I found out, Fred and Regina were dating.

The Japanese anime and manga told me I should be the bigger person and forgive them. And I tried, but I couldn’t suppress my emotions better enough. The anime and manga also helped when Regina was being a complete jerk.

Then again, I shouldn’t have been surprised that Fred would have gone for someone like Regina. Even though Fred seemed nice and decent, people said he was immature. I remembered him talking back to our English teacher this one time. He even applauded another guy who talked back to that same teacher. Also by dating Regina, it showed his true colours. That he was a complete social climber, and also dated her for the popularity.

I remember sitting in the hallway this one time for quiet to do science work in science class. The half bell rang and people went out.

Over my textbook, I saw Fred and Regina holding each other and laugh, but it wasn’t a good laugh.

I knew it.

My inner conspiracy theorist was right.

But I still held on to the Japanese anime and manga’s lessons of forgiveness.

It was grade 10 that I finally got a Facebook. As I was getting all my classmates on, I found a Facebook fan page dedicated to me. The description was “for everyone’s favourite autistic Asian”. (I’m of Southeast Asian decent. Oh, and the autism, I am on the spectrum, I’ve written a few post about it here on the site.)

At the time I didn’t even bother to Google autism, and I just let it slide. Thanks to the anime and manga, I learned not to care about rumours and reputation. I don’t know, my naive mind thought that maybe he still had feelings for me, I don’t know… My father was this doormat who just ignored his wife and kids, leading to my parents’ separation. My mother was this jerk who banged her head on the wall this one time I asked her to morally support me.

I clung on to anyone and anything who could support me.

I’m just going to say drama happened, I just stopped talking to Fred all together. I’m just gonna say, karma is a bitch. Fred wasn’t a great guy, but I wasn’t an angel either.

I still feel guilty about what I did to this day.

I don’t know it’s so twisted. Fred and Regina did horrible things, not just to me, but other people. Regina was suspended in grade 8 for bullying another girl. They do terrible things, and deny, deny, deny, then they make you do something that you’ll really regret, and then you’re the bad guy.

I sort of cyberstalked Regina out of hate this one time, and on her Twitter, she sort of mentioned her parents got divorced when she was six.

It could explain why she was so mean and the way she treated people around her back in the day.

I wrote my memoirs in living with autism. I was going to write Regina in the book, though she got my number through her best friend, who I was an acquaintance with. The acquaintance helped me through a rough moment in my life, and I thought she was a good person. Seeing how that she and Regina are best friends, perhaps it also showed the acquaintance her true colours as well. (Acquaintance is waaaay prettier than Regina.)

Anyways, Regina has not changed at all and is still the psychopathic narcissus she was to this day.

She even said that Twitter account wasn’t hers and that her parents aren’t divorce.

Your words. Are. Shit. No. One. Believes. In. You.

(She said that, but the psychology math was all wrong. It was so obvious they were divorced.)

I think she still does all the deny, deny, deny, and makes other people the bad guy to this day. It must have been one of the things Regina taught Fred during their time together. It reminded me of one of the horrible things Fred did to me this one time in grade 10.

Regina gave Fred my number, and he texted me first. I was so scared. After all I’ve did back then, he still somehow wanted to talk to me, still? He apologized for what he did, but I’m not sure…

As I said before in the paragraphs above, he most likely spread rumours of my autism for the popularity.

Life has gotten complicated post college. I have this relative who is the 80’s jock stage dad in Breakfast Club, and I am the meal ticket shredder for this kids that will prevent them from getting in the popular crowd. And he loves to save face and reputation.

Perhaps all the family drama reminds me of high school. Maybe all the memories are coming up about high school is that the only way this relative will love me if I was in the popular crowd and I was a glamour girl obsessed with makeup and looks. The girls on that side of the family are wannabe Kardashians or Victoria’s Secret models. I always end up looking like a potato.

I don’t know… The Japanese anime and manga taught me so much, now I’m caring about rumours like I’m in some sort of high school Hollywood chick flick.